Mr. Mills was a first-year teacher in an urban public middle school, serving approximately 600 African American students. In 2002, he was a 22-year-old Ivy League graduate with a passion for teaching underserved students in low-income areas.

Mr. Mills came to the classroom with above-average content and pedagogical knowledge. He deeply connected with each student and was always eager to collaborate with others to become smarter about the work.

I was his assigned instructional coach, and I was also new to the role. My favorite memory is stepping into teaching with him. I would demonstrate a lesson for two blocks then we would debrief. We would co-teach the third block and then Mr. Miller would teach the last class.

This was the way of being some days. On other days, we unpacked standards, analyzed student work, planned lessons, and reflected on our instructional coaching relationship.

However, the school culture and climate were challenging for Mr. Mills and other teachers. The school had been labeled persistently dangerous by the State due to myriad student code of conduct violations. The staff was divided racially and included “you’ll know if you belong cliques”. Leadership showed favoritism, and nepotism was highly evident.

Mr. Mills decided to quit teaching at the end of that school year. I was disheartened. Shaken. Shocked.

Yet, his story did not end as planned. Almost 24 years later, Mr. Mills is still teaching folks. He moved to another state and found his niche as well as better pay! Compassionate listening became the core of our coaching chats. This strategy is as vital to helping teachers grow as all the other academic meaning-making that takes place in coaching work. Just listen with your ears, mind, eyes, and heart wide open.

Try!

I haven’t had the opportunity to unpack your frustrations with you, but I do have ideas for you to consider before you walk away. I hope they are helpful.

• Consider another teaching niche. For example: another school in the same district, another district, private rather than public school, a different grade – level or content area, a charter school, another state, city or country.
• Have a courageous conversation with your principal. Share your teaching passion as well as your frustrations and challenges. Ask for guidance and support.
• Don’t strive for perfection. You will plan good lessons that go well. You will also plan good lessons that will fail. Use failure as an opportunity to reflect and adjust.
• Lean into a learning orientation rather than a performance orientation. See challenges as an opportunity to learn. Be coachable. Resist the urge to focus solely on achieving success, receiving praise and beating perceived competition.
• Check your mindset regarding your students. Do you see your students’ strengths? Do you leverage them for learning? Or do you see their differences or disadvantages as problems that need to be fixed?
• Collaborate with a mentor or instructional coach. If this support is not in place for you, request it. Mentors and coaches can boost your confidence, help improve classroom management, and teach you promising instructional practices.
• Plan for balance. Take short mental breaks in your school day. If possible, implement strategies like a 15 – 30 minute Drop Everything and Read (D.E.A.R.). Read a book of your choice while students are reading. Embed brain breaks and games into your instructional schedule. Include some team competitions. I loved using logic puzzles, jokes, online game shows like Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?, America’s Dumbest Criminals, rebus puzzles, who dunnits, and hidden object puzzles.  Take a weekend away from work. Have boundaries. Have a cut – off time for evening,  weekend, and holiday work outside of the school schedule.
• Journal. Write about your joy and success with students. Capture gratitude and moments when you felt confident. Also, jot frustrations. Unpack them. Note what might resolve them.
• Build trust with a peer confidant. Share with this person. Be open to encouragement and feedback.
• Create a portfolio of student progress. Choose at least four students: struggling, emerging, on grade- level, above grade – level. Choose specific standards. Gather work that shows their growth.
• Connect with your student intervention team, social worker, or special education team. The professionals on these teams are there to help you plan for student attendance, academic and behavior interventions and support.
• Seek therapy and/or spiritual support. Schedule time with a licensed therapist or your pastor, if you have one. Pray with others in your church community, if you have one. If you are a Believer, talk with God.
• Practice self – care. Take a staycation or vacation. Get a massage. Get enough sleep. Drink water. Take a relaxing bath. Enjoy walks or other exercise. Pump up some good music.
• 180 Days of Self – Care for Busy Educators by Tina H. Boogren. Purchase and try on some of the strategies in this book.

Before you walk away, dear teacher, please consider some of these suggestions. Also, contemplate the pros and cons. Give it your best try before turning in your keys and walking out the door.

So many children in America do not have great teachers in front of them each day. Students deserve the best teachers who will not give up on them. Is that you?